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Chuck Norris Defender of FreedomChuck Norris has fought in every American war including the American Revolution, The War of the Worlds, Korean War, Vietnam, Desert Storm, Black Hawk Down, World War 1, World War 2, Red Dawn, American Civil War, the Iran-Iraq war (on both sides simultaneously), and the War on d**gs. The only war Chuck has not fought in was the French and Indian war because Chuck Norris could give a shit less about the French, in Chuck’s opinion the French complain to much and deserve to get their asses kicked. Chuck Norris wins by attrition.Chuck’s Favorite Foods:WhiskeySteel WoolSometimes when Chuck Norris gets tired of Whiskey or steel wool, he’ll eat bread, cheese, tomato paste and a handful of basil, which sounds like a pizza but it’s not because Chuck Norris doesn’t want to give the Italian’s credit.Chuck Norris EncountersOne time for Halloween I was trick or treating and I dressed up like a pussy because you are supposed to dress up in something you are not. I. Nothing.Looking at my watch it was goin on 4 am and i was still at the airport with nothing but a fucking number with no answer! i have never been so fucking helpless in my whole life. Here i was goin through all this begging a gay Master to let me be his bitch!!! How could i have fucked up so much! Again i was helpless. i was totally His! He had full control..i felt like his little pawn..his little toy..his little bitch! And considering the situation..i was!At nearly 5 O'clock He finally picked up."Took you long enough bitch." i am hear Master.." i repliedi had to play for him as much as possible to figure this thing out. i started talking and He simply talked over me with an address and hung up..Shit.After taking a cab clear across town i finally arrived at the address just before 5. The front door had a note taped to it which read "BITCHES USE THE BACK DOOR."i quickly ran around to the back to find another note. "STRIP, AND PREPARE TO MEET YOUR NEW OWNER! YOUR OLD CLOTHES AND.
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